Old People Are Annoying

There, I said it.  But it is true.  Or maybe it is just me.  I retired about a year ago and maybe I just have more time on my hands to notice them.  I run into them all the time.  The worst place is the supermarket.  When I go to check out, I look to see who is in my lane.  If they are older folks, try another lane even if has more (younger) people in it.  They just take so long to checkout!  It takes them awhile to get their checkbook out, write the check, enter the amount in the check book, get out their licence, show it to the clerk etc..  While they are doing all this, they are making Small Talk, usually about the weather. 

Maybe it is me.  I’m not good with Small Talk.  When I try it, it comes out something like “How about the results of that local sports team last night with their game against that other team?”  Or how many times can you ask about when it will rain again or when will the rain stop?  I’ve been trying to study Small Talk for a good bit.  It is like studying a foreign language which I guess it is for me.  Whenever we travel, I make sure I stay up and watch the local weatherman’s performance.  The smaller the city, the better the Small Talk conversation.  They are talking about the weather to begin with so it has to be good.  The banter between the lowly, geeky weatherman and the smug anchorperson is priceless.  But I just can’t seem to perfect the cadence and range of Small Talk topics.  Hopefully, I can master it in the next 30 years or so.  Maybe AARP or Rosetta Stone has a CD I can use.

Okay, maybe I’m a little too hard on them.  But they need to lighten up.  Use a debit card once it awhile for a start.  Go to dinner after 4:30 every so often.  Quit thinking you are entitled to discounts just because you are old.  Start spending your kids’ inheritance already.  And be sure stay out of my way because I have no time for your Small Talk.  When I’ve mastered the language, I’ll let you know.

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