Wheel of ..”You F*$#^% B^%@#%(

America, it seems, is constantly looking for change.  We do suffer from a collective ADD.  All of us, at every age level.  We are bored.  Looking for the latest aps on iPhones.  The latest gadgets.  This also applies to entertainment and believe it or not, this boredom applies not only to the young, but older Americans as well.  I should know since I am one of them.  So I think it is time to make some changes to our game shows, the staple of older America.  I’ll start with Wheel of Fortune or as we know it, The Wheel or WOF.

The Wheel does try to add a little change by having theme weeks.  These are really just excuses for cost sharing ventures and are very effective from a business point of view.  They also have weeks that feature like best friends, relatives and military contestants etc. to break up their year and try to hold our attention.  But I think they need to go further.  Why not add something like Tourette syndrome week, where all the contestants are inflicted with this disease.  It might go something like this…..

Announcer and Music begin their fade:

The show opens up with a visibly shaked Pat Sajak who is trying to show his cool after he hears random shout outs from the contestants describing various body parts of Vanna White.

Pat S:  “Okay, now pick up your buzzer as we have the first Toss Up.  It is a PLACE.  2 words.  3 letters in the first word; 4 letters in the second word.

(An “N” comes up as the 1st letter of the 1st word; then a “Y” as the 1st letter of the second word.  BING.)

Pat S: Huey!

Huey (Contestant 1):  “You rat bastard!”

Pat S:  He looks down on his answer card, takes a deep breath and says “I’m sorry but that is not correct”.  He knows this is only the beginning.  BING.   Louie!

Louie (Contestant 2):  “Sotomayor is a slut!”

Pat S:  Looking less shocked, he looks around the room for helps and asks the judges “Can we accept this answer?  No? Okay.  Sorry Louie but that is not correct”.  BING.  Dewey!

Dewey (Contestant 3):  “I still think the Yankees deserved to win the 1960 World Series as they outscored the Pirates by 10, 12 and 13 runs in their 3 wins and barely lost the other games by only a few runs at best and if the grounder in Game 7 didn’t take a bad hop and hit Kubek in the throat, the Yankees would have won and Mazeroski wouldn’t be in the Hall of Fame today since his home run wouldn’t have been a walk off one”.

We see the life force drain out of Pat as he turns to camera and says “More Wheel in a moment.  We’ll be right back”.

Now wouldn’t this be better television?

Just a thought.



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